Here are a couple poems that I wrote in class recently in front of — and with the help of — the kids. We were thinking about similes. The kids call them smiles, which is more appropriate than some of them might imagine since sometimes similes break across a poem like a smile breaks across a face.
These two poems were inspired by some of Valerie Worth’s poems about ordinary objects from All the small poems and fourteen more. I like that book. A lot. As usual, it was fun to write in front of the kids and to share a pen.
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Old Shoe
Drags across
the carpet
like a tugboat
in a harbor
hauling
exhausted feet,
heavy cargo for
the waiting
sofa.
Pencil
My haircut is a
red flat-top.
My long
green
body
has
one
sharp
toe
that glides like
a ballet dancer
across white paper,
squirting words
when I twirl.
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I love the shoe poem — I’ve got some of those tired feet right now. 🙂
Thanks, Katya! These were quickly written, then revised all with the help of the kids. I’d revise them another time or two. Your post about your writing process for March Madness inspired me to maybe write a post about how we write, too. The revision process for the shoe poem in particular was pretty interesting.
I loved the poems derived from “bereft” that you wrote for March Madness. What a tough word…but so well done!
I love the idea of similes that “break across a poem like a smile breaks across a face”. I, too, love the show poem. Thanks for sharing! =)
Thank you, Bridget. Writing with the kids is so much fun. They really like the chance to think out loud, to offer suggestions, to puzzle out how words work together, to think through line breaks, to see how sometimes a poem starts with an idea that transforms when it comes in contact with words. (I took off my shoe while we were in our common “carpet” space, we looked closely at it while I described how I was feeling–tired–and then sought words and “smiles” to describe it. The simile brought forth the rest of the poem.
Both are lovely! Next week we’re going to be looking at “smiles” and metaphors (and 5th graders also get personification — think Mr. Potato Head — and “hyper-bowl”/hyperbole). May I share your poems?
Absolutely, Mary Lee! For sure feel free to borrow and adapt. You might even want to revise them?? I can see places that don’t work so well, but figured I”d just post as is!
I want to see the personification and “hyperbowl” poems! What fun! (Don’t you love the misunderstandings of these academic words? That’s also fun to play with, eh?)
So fun! And what a great way to teach!
Ruth, thanks for stopping by! The kids really do love to write this way. They like to offer suggestions without having to do the writing themselves. They like the “speculative” nature of the work, and how slowly it moves.
Do you do this kind of shared writing with your middle schoolers? Would it (does it) work with them?